Confessions of a Starving Mystery Writer

As we approach the closing seconds of 2005, I have to admit for me 2005 was a trainwreck or er... a shipwreck. As 2005 swirls down the toilet bowl of the ages, here's hopin' for a much better 2006.

There's a revolution going on. It doesn't feel like it. It rarely does, but there is. Life, as we know it, is changing very dramatically and very quickly. All of us will feel the changes. Writers and artists are feeling the first effects. As we moved from an agrarian society to an industrial society, from the horse and buggy to the car, telegraph to the telephone, many workers, jobs, and technologies were replaced and disrupted. Some industries and workers transitioned effortlessly. Others were trampled or left behind. The current rapid advancements of technology are making businesses obsolete at a record pace. So comes the Creative Age, or what some have called the Information Age. We've been in the Information age for about twenty years. But now, the useable products are coming to the marketplace in a big way. The convergence that all the techno talking heads have been hawking for years is finally producing real products; the Blackberry and Ipod for example. The Creative ...

I found a recent interview of Kinky Freidman at Bookslut . Check it out.

We all know what a resolution is; that which we tend to break before the end of the year. Therefore, I resolve not to have a New Year's "Resolution" this year. I prefer, instead, a New Year's Revolution and Revelation......... Revolution; a: a sudden, radical, or complete change b: activity or movement designed to effect fundamental changes in the socioeconomic situation c: a fundamental change in the way of thinking about or visualizing something : a change of paradigm Revelation; a : an act of revealing to view or making known b : something that is revealed; especially : an enlightening or astonishing disclosure. c : a pleasant often enlightening surprise. Though I began it late in 2005, it will continue and strengthen in 2006.

Our lager, Which art in barrels, Hallowed be thy drink. Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk), At home as in the tavern. Give us this day our foamy head, And forgive us our spillages, As we forgive those who spill against us. And lead us not to incarceration, But deliver us from hangovers. For thine is the beer, The bitter and The lager. Forever and ever, Barmen Borrowed from The Red Lion Pub , Chicago.........

There's nothing sexier to male(and probably some female) mystery fans than a woman firing a gun. (Ok, other than maybe a naked woman firing a gun.) Anyway, I digress. Years ago, as a teen, I attended an automobile mechanic's class. During the first week of class, the teacher sent me to the local auto parts store to pick up a radiator hose for a 1970 Volkswagon Beetle. The joke, on me and every new student that fell for it, was there is no such thing as a VW Beetle radiator hose. It doesn't exist. The VW Bug is air cooled. There is no radiator. Everyone laughed. I felt like an ass. Anyway, though fiction writing is "fiction", it is important that the factual information used; gun descriptions, location descriptions, forensic and investigative techniques must ring true. Any author that avoids verifying or checking the facts risks pissing off readers, loosing credibility, or at the very least, diminishing some readers pleasure in reading the story. I recently finishe...

From World War II through the 1960s, paperback crime novels were one of the fastest-selling categories in book publishing. Millions of readers snapped up hundreds of millions of books by well-known authors like Erle Stanley Gardner and Mickey Spillane, as well as by promising young writers like Lawrence Block, Elmore Leonard, and Donald Westlake. Today, Block, Leonard, and Westlake still make the bestseller lists with each new hardcover — but the pulp novels that first captured the public's imagination weren't hardcovers. They were paperbacks you could fit in your back pocket, with jaw-dropping cover paintings and bare-knuckled prose that grabbed you by the collar with the first sentence and held you until the last page. No one's published books like that in years. Until now. Hard Case Crime was created by authors' Charles Ardai and Max Phillips ; the line is published as a collaboration between Winterfall LLC and Dorchester Publishing .

I wanted to write some pearls of wisdom for the coming New Year. I wanted to list some resolutions that would propel me and my career into 2006. Every year in the past, I have sat down after Christmas, reviewed goals of the previous years, and listed new goals for the coming year. Usually, I could review the list with some satisfaction, putting a line through tough goals, and creating the new list combining incomplete goals with ambitious new ones. This year for what ever reason, it has become more difficult than prior years. The words and goals are not as evident. The "things" I want out of life have so drastically changed, that a list seems almost superfluous. If you seek to be a professional writer, author Joe Konrath has an excellent list on his December 17th post at Newbies Guide to Publishing . As for me, I hope to have a few short stories published, find an agent, complete the novel and non-fiction book, and seek a publisher. That is what I am working towards. If you ...

For this blogsite, I generally try to stay on topic as much as possible, but because today is Christmas Eve, I found myself drawn to write something very personal. For me, Christmas for the most part has been perverted by commercialism. Devoid of its true essence. This year I find myself in a somewhat unique position. Unique for me, though a position that many around the world find themselves in every day. . . alone. In my life, I have been alone many times. Those times in the past, I have responded with self- pity and depression. Though I feel these emotions, something that has been missing in my life for a long time has returned. The spirit of giving. Throughout my childhood and even today, my parents have given; time, clothing, food, and much more to prisons, mental intitutions, military families, homeless shelters, and charitable organizations. My parents have always struggled financially so thier charity has been remarkable to me. To give when one cannot afford to give. I think th...

"These are the times that try men's souls" Thomas Payne In the spirit of Christmas, I'm in need of a little more salve for the soul than normal. I find myself in a very strange place. Not horribly bad place, just different. Times they are a changin'. Jim Beam isn't cutting it. Corona. Nope. Not rum in the eggnog. Nothing. So where do you turn? To good books. The Good Book? Others? I usually read the book of Job when I feel like this, and I recently picked up the book of Tao. I wanted a quote to cling to; the Bible, Tao, Nietzsche, Sarte, Kant, something Existential, but nothing seems right. So I'm left with me and four words. The Salve: To truly love, release. RJB

I have discovered some troubling things while researching how to become a successful, published novelist. Here are some staggering statistics; there are almost 200,000 books published in the United States every year, and of those approximately 10,000 are novels. What do these numbers mean to a Novelist? Competition. Competition to be published, competition for a published book to be purchased, and competition to continue to be published. As in most industries, in the past ten years, the publishing and book selling industries have undergone a massive consolidation. This has left the market with about six large publishing houses and many, many, smaller niche publishers. Publishers now expect all pubished books to "earn out" or breakeven. For new authors this is extremely difficult. New authors have little or no fan base and have difficulty getting publicity in the crowded market place. Most larger publishers no longer seem willing to carry and support an author as he or she est...

The Climax. I guess that's what we desire most........in a book. Seduction, excitement, and ultimately satisfaction. Sex and books have the same goals. Author Robert Gregory Brown has an excellent detailed blog on Anatomy of a Book Deal . Here is a brief excerpt: Reaching the Climax "Let’s talk about sex.Those of you who are uncomfortable with the subject, feel free to bail out now – I’m likely to get pretty raunchy. Still with me? I thought so. When we make love, most of us have a particular goal in mind: that moment when our entire body seems to stem from one central point, when every nerve-ending tingles wildly as fireworks assault our brain. That moment, of course, is orgasm, and anyone who has experienced one (or two or three) – especially with a willing and enthusiastic partner (or two or three) -- knows that it can be an exquisitely pleasurable sensation. But are all orgasms created equal?" Well, well, that gets to the meat (no pun intended) of the question. Check ...

The Reaper 

While I was researching Causes of death in the United States, I came across the following interesting statistics. So in the spirit of Christmas and good cheer, enjoy. In 2002 in the U.S. the top 10 causes of death were: Heart disease : 696,947 Cancer : 557,271 Stroke : 162,672 Chronic lower respiratory diseases : 124,816 Accidents (unintentional injuries): 106,742 Diabetes : 73,249 Influenza / pneumonia : 65,681 Alzheimer's disease : 58,866 Nephritis , nephrotic syndrome , and nephrosis (Liver Deseases): 40,974 Septicemia (Internal Infections, Bactieria in bloodstream): 33,865 Other notable causes of death in the United States (2002) Suicide: 30,622(2001) Murder : 16,110 Execution : 71 Intentional abortion : 1,293,000 Note that there is much debate as to when a fetus should be considered "human." The death of a human zygote — a one-celled combination of a sperm and an egg — is counted by some as the death of a human, and by others as simply the death of a cell. The ...

Femme Noir Comics 

Check out Supernatural Crime for some very cool free online comics. I like the Femme Noir about a female private dick. . . . if you are into that thing.

Thrilling Detective website has an excellent list of "Thundering Cliches" for mystery writers to avoid. Some samples: Any story that begins with the P.I. sitting at his desk, drinking from the office bottle. Any story that begins with a sultry woman walking into a PI's office while he's sitting at his desk, drinking from the office bottle. Any woman with "legs up to here." The Mafia. C'mon, guys, get with it. Give the Sicilians a break. There are tons of hard-working Russians, Iranians, Irish, Jamaicians, Hiatians, Greeks, Jews and WASPS who'd like proper respect paid for their great contributions to organized crime. Arab terrorists (see above). Any P.I. who flashes a photostat of their license. I mean, photostats? Who uses that term anymore? Hello! It's not 1929, anymore. And by the way, gunsels aren't actually guys with guns... Excessive references to jazz. Nothing wrong with jazz, really, but jazz snobs are a dime a dozen these days. Any...

The seasons cycle. As spring follows winter and fall follows summer. Why must lust and love be followed by painful loss? There is no greater desire than lust, no greater feeling than mutual love, and equally no greater pain than the loss of love. Love dwindles; relationships die. These emotional afflictions have driven the human existence to the heights of great accomplishment and the depths of deep dispair. Most good writers are tragically flawed in one or many areas of thier lives. All the writers that I admire either killed themselves literally, or through alcohol, drugs, and addiction suffered a slow death. Writers must be sadomasichistic and manic-depressive to subject themselves to the tremendous rejection writing for publication brings. So, why do all good artists; writers, painters, musicians, etc., expose their private selves; publicly subjecting thereselves to critique and ridicule? Because they're artists. Driven to do what they do. It's thier passion. Pain and pleas...

What do they have in common? All Necessary. All suck and are painful, er . . . well some folks may like the Proctology exam. I belong to a mystery writer's critique group that meets every few weeks and we critique each other's work. Last night they were pretty rough on me. I thought I had written a good compelling mystery short story (email me if you're interested I'll send it to you for your input) for publication in a national mystery magazine. The group had many comments about my lead character in the story and some paragraphs that didn't propell the story forward. I was a little hurt and argumentative. This was my baby. So I had to apologize. I'm sorry. I'm a lawyer. That's what I do. Argue. Passionately . . . and loudly. I have a few things going on that has made me a little more on edge and emotional than normal, so I left the meeting feeling a little depressed and beat up. Yes, the goup is a rough crowd, but I am serious and passionate about wr...

In the right hand column, I've added a link section for non-mystery genre rantings from a group of my friend's blogs. Some may find these entertaining and informative, others may find them disturbing, and some may find them outrageous. So if you are so inclined, please check them out. WARNING & DISCLAIMER: Any opinions expressed at the above mentioned blogs may or not have any relationship with reality.

In the right hand column of the blog, I added a section for Mystery Magazines. These are paying mystery magazines. There doesn't appear to be that many of them. Please let me know if anyone knows of more. I would like to make this as complete a list as possible.

The United States Postal Service, with over $69B in revenue in 2004, has approved an across the board postage increase as of January 8, 2006. So all writers that are submitting mss for publication or representation should remember to include the appropriate amount on thier SASEs. Everyone else should remember to pony up and start buying 2 cent stamps for general letters. A selected chart of the postage increases is available at: Governors Approve Change in Postal Rates .

Since I'm not getting any, I may as well write about it. For most guys, any sex is good sex. But to write a sex scene is difficult, sometimes embaracing, and even the best writers struggle to get it right. The literary world actually has a Worst Sex Scene Award . Author(s) P.J. Parrish have hilarious blog posts about sex , bad sex , and the written word. Check out an exerpt: "Did you know there are actual awards for bad sex scenes? For nine years now, the Literary Review has been handing out its Bad Sex award to 'draw attention to the crude, tasteless, often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel, and to discourage it.' " My favorite is the 2004 winner,Tom Wolfe's throbbing passage from I am Charlotte Simmons : "Hoyt began moving his lips as if he were trying to suck the ice cream off the top of a cone without using his teeth ... Slither slither slither slither went the tongue, but the hand that was what she tri...

What happened to Pulp Fiction? Not the movie. The outlet. The magazines. As I prepare a couple of short mystery stories for submission and look for markets, I am amazed. There just aren't that many paying crime fiction magazines. After WWII, there were somewhere close to 100 pulps. The Black Mask, Dime Detective, and on and on. The magazines that Chandler, Hammett, McDonald, and a gaggle of good crime writers cut thier teeth on. They were killed off by TV, the short attention span of a technology driven and upwardly mobile society, and media consolidations. Slash and burn economics. Profit. Profit. Profit. The same thing that has put midlist writers on the street. What happened to magazines and publishing houses that nurtured and supported authors as they developed thier craft? Progress. Sorry, I'm waxing nostalgic. Maybe there are online Pulp magazines that pay and small publishing houses that an author can grow and develope with . . .

A Big Gun - .50 Caliber Desert Eagle

As I wiped sweat from my brow, I threw the shovel into the back of my old pick-up. I pulled out my to-do list out of my shirt pocket and with a finger scanned it: Pick up 6 pack Drop off dog at the vet Get plane ticket to Cancun Put gas in truck Dispose of wife's body I took out a pen, drew a line through the last entry, got in the truck and headed for the airport. **In less than 100 words no less.

So here I sit, in my tattered robe, slippers, and underwear mid-afternoon on a cold Wednesday in the midwest. A foot of snow on the ground. Grown men are suppose to be working, making a living . . . sweat of the brow and all that. I feel like the character in that Steven King movie. The one about the writer, played by Johnny Depp. Well, I've found that writing is as exhausting as physical labor, in some ways, more so. No, not the back pain, bone deep type of exhaustion but the mentally draining type that - suck the life out of you - exhaustion. Some days I can't write a word. Don't want to. Others I can write 5000 words and want to write more...even if its 3 am. Some good, some bad. Throw away most of it or find stuff that I can't believe I wrote. The writer's life. This is a strange profession. A whole lot of work with not much up side -but God I love it. John D. McDonald once said he wrote about a million words before he truly understood what he was doing. I shoul...

Hard at work 

The goal for this blog is to track my progress in pursuit of publication. The pain, sorrows, hardships, successes and failures as I attempt to get published and make a living in the short story and novel mystery genre. At 43 years old I gave up a well paying but unsatisfying job to pursue a writing career. So this should be a bumpy ride. I hope to inform and entertain other struggling writers and mystery lovers if at all possible. I have a life long love of mysteries and thrillers in all their forms. So, stay tuned for murder, mayhem, sex, violence, struggles, triumph, and redemption.......... I am currently working on three short stories; one hardboiled detective, one hardboiled hitman, and one memoir-ish human interest article. Also, I have a thriller novel and a non-fiction small business book in the works. I plan to use short stories for character development and to hone prose writing - and hopefully make a few bucks. I will be working on this blog daily so please check back.