Lawyer Jokes for the Week

A few lawyer jokes for those that appreciate lawyers as much as I do. I'm entitled, for those who don't know, I am one.

How can you tell the difference between a dead skunk and a dead attorney on the road?
The vultures aren't gagging over the skunk.
(varition of ending: skid marks)

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
One is a slimy, bottom dwelling, scum sucker. The other is a fish.

What's the difference between an attorney and a pit bull?
Jewelry.

If you are stranded on a desert island with Osama, Sadam, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
Shoot the lawyer twice.

What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
The caterer.

What do lawyers do after they die?
They lie still.

What do lawyers use for birth control?
Their personalities.

I've got lotta more...check back next week.

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