Confessions of a Starving Mystery Writer

Yesterday, I received my first rejection letter from Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine. It was my very first rejection for my writing. I must admit it stings. It was a form letter of about three sentences. It came at an interesting time in my life –on the very day I was to meet a former love to see if our relationship would be worthy of another try – it wasn’t. She rejected me. Our relationship has been over for several months and this last conversation hammered the total and complete end home. Finality. I know it’s for the best, and in deep in my heart, I know she made the right decision. Though, knowing that doesn’t make the pain any less. I just got back from a trip to see my parents. They are aged and in frail health. I only get to see them once a year. This year may have been the last time I will see them. I tried in vain to say the things I wanted to say to them but the words would not come out. For several months, I have been taking a personal inventory, looking hard at actions, mot...

There's nothing like rejection to make you do an inventory of yourself. James Lee Burke Every rejection is incremental payment on your dues that in some way will be translated back into your work. James Lee Burke

A man may fulfill the object of his existence by asking a question he cannot answer, and attempting a task he cannot achieve. Oliver Wendell Holmes Many people die with their music still in them. Why is this so? Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out. Oliver Wendell Holmes

I have been out of town for the last several days, working through some personal issues and have been unable to blog with any substance. Thank you for continuing to visit. I will return to substantive blogging early next week. Thanks. RJB

The changes in our life must come from the impossibility to live otherwise than according to the demands of our conscience not from our mental resolution to try a new form of life. Leo Tolstoy

Forgiveness is the remission of sins. For it is by this that what has been lost, and was found, is saved from being lost again. Saint Augustine Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heal that has crushed it. Mark Twain Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. Peter Ustinov

It was 2 degrees yesterday. Here is where my mind wandered. 

The language of friendship is not words but meanings. Henry David Thoreau In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. Albert Schweitzer True friends stab you in the front. Oscar Wilde The true friend stabs you in the chest, to excise the tumor that is within, for without its removal, you shall surely perish. R.J.Baker (insired by Oscar Wilde)

Sorry, for a week I have kind of been sucked into life's abyss. I haven't been able to blog anything of significance as I battled internal demons in my head and external demons in my life. I finally made it over to Flashing in the Gutters , a flash fiction site by Tribe . Please check them out, if you haven't already, there is a whole lot of really good free short fiction there.

I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere to go. My own wisdom, and that of all about me, seemed insufficient for the day. Abraham Lincoln The course of true love never did run smooth. William Shakespeare

Sunset in Venice 

Do not quench your inspiration and your imagination; do not become the slave of your model. Vincent Van Gogh Each morning my characters greet me with misty faces willing, though chilled, to muster for another day's progress through the dazzling quicksand the marsh of blank paper. John Updike

I woke up his morning at 3:30 with a story idea. Afraid of losing it, I immediately wrote it out long hand. The words flowed. They were coherent. The story was actually pretty good. Later, I typed it out, edited a few mistakes, and printed it out. I plan on doing revisions in a few days and submitting it. I liked the process. Several months ago, I spoke briefly with Matthew J. Bruccoli about his edit of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Last Tycoon. I told him of my budding interest in writing and asked him for advice. One of his main points of guidance was to write everything out long hand first-pen or pencil and paper. He said writing on a word processor hurt style. I was skeptical, but after this morning, I think he may be right – at least for me. I think it was Hemingway who said that he wrote everything long hand, then typed it out (or had it typed), reviewed and made changes in draft form. Do you write first long hand? What do you think about the effect of the word processor as the point...

In an attempt to understand the business side of a book deal, I will lay out the issues that seem important and my understanding of them. I know there are many variances and differences between small and large publishers but I will try to review the issues in general terms. Once the book is written the next goal is "the deal" but at what point is a deal a "good deal"? Advances. From what I understand, advances run from $0 to hundreds of thousands of dollars. With the typical first time author getting an average of between $1,000 to $7,500. J.A. Konrath signed a three book deal with Hyperion in 2003 for "low six figures" for discussion purposes only let's assume the advance was $150k or $50k per book. A good deal? Yeah, probably in the scheme of things. He recently signed another 3 book deal beyond the original. When is the adance paid? Probably a triggering event, like submission of completed manuscript for edit. Royalties. I've read that royalties...

Love. Fall in love and stay in love. Write only what you love, and love what you write. The key word is love. You have to get up in the morning and write something you love, something to live for. Ray Bradbury

Big Al's Valentine to Bugs Moran: The gift that keeps on giving... 

The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first. In my beginning is my end. T. S. Eliot

Blocked. Not the type ruffage will clear. I haven't even been able to blog, write fiction, write anything for a while now. It woke me up at 4 a.m. today - I've written 2 paragraghs of fiction in the last couple of weeks. Why? Personal shit getting me down? Maybe. Story well run dry? Don't think so. Introspection? Yep. Soul searching? Yes. Fear? Na. Loathing? Yes. Yes. Yes. Fear? Maybe. Self doubt? Getting warm. Fear? Yep, you caught me. A writer I respect wrote me a long email after I whined to her. She said write 1000 words a day, even if it sucks the big hairy green one. Today I write. . .

When I face the desolate impossibility of writing five hundred pages a sick sense of failure falls on me and I know I can never do it. This happens every time. Then gradually I write one page and then another. One day's work is all I can permit myself to contemplate and I eliminate the possibility of ever finishing. John Steinbeck Just get it down on paper, and then we'll see what to do about it. Maxwell Perkins Find a subject you care about and which you in your heart feel others should care about. It is this genuine caring, not your games with language, which will be the most compelling and seductive element in your style. Kurt Vonnegut

Writing has laws of perspective, of light and shade just as painting does, or music. If you are born knowing them, fine. If not, learn them. Then rearrange the rules to suit yourself. Truman Capote Writing stopped being fun when I discovered the difference between good writing and bad and, even more terrifying, the difference between it and true art. And after that, the whip came down. Truman Capote