Confessions of a Starving Mystery Writer

Yesterday, I received my first rejection letter from Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine. It was my very first rejection for my writing. I must admit it stings. It was a form letter of about three sentences. It came at an interesting time in my life –on the very day I was to meet a former love to see if our relationship would be worthy of another try – it wasn’t. She rejected me. Our relationship has been over for several months and this last conversation hammered the total and complete end home. Finality. I know it’s for the best, and in deep in my heart, I know she made the right decision. Though, knowing that doesn’t make the pain any less. I just got back from a trip to see my parents. They are aged and in frail health. I only get to see them once a year. This year may have been the last time I will see them. I tried in vain to say the things I wanted to say to them but the words would not come out. For several months, I have been taking a personal inventory, looking hard at actions, mot...

There's nothing like rejection to make you do an inventory of yourself. James Lee Burke Every rejection is incremental payment on your dues that in some way will be translated back into your work. James Lee Burke

A man may fulfill the object of his existence by asking a question he cannot answer, and attempting a task he cannot achieve. Oliver Wendell Holmes Many people die with their music still in them. Why is this so? Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out. Oliver Wendell Holmes

I have been out of town for the last several days, working through some personal issues and have been unable to blog with any substance. Thank you for continuing to visit. I will return to substantive blogging early next week. Thanks. RJB

The changes in our life must come from the impossibility to live otherwise than according to the demands of our conscience not from our mental resolution to try a new form of life. Leo Tolstoy

Forgiveness is the remission of sins. For it is by this that what has been lost, and was found, is saved from being lost again. Saint Augustine Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heal that has crushed it. Mark Twain Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. Peter Ustinov

It was 2 degrees yesterday. Here is where my mind wandered. 

The language of friendship is not words but meanings. Henry David Thoreau In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. Albert Schweitzer True friends stab you in the front. Oscar Wilde The true friend stabs you in the chest, to excise the tumor that is within, for without its removal, you shall surely perish. R.J.Baker (insired by Oscar Wilde)

Sorry, for a week I have kind of been sucked into life's abyss. I haven't been able to blog anything of significance as I battled internal demons in my head and external demons in my life. I finally made it over to Flashing in the Gutters , a flash fiction site by Tribe . Please check them out, if you haven't already, there is a whole lot of really good free short fiction there.

I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere to go. My own wisdom, and that of all about me, seemed insufficient for the day. Abraham Lincoln The course of true love never did run smooth. William Shakespeare

Sunset in Venice 

Do not quench your inspiration and your imagination; do not become the slave of your model. Vincent Van Gogh Each morning my characters greet me with misty faces willing, though chilled, to muster for another day's progress through the dazzling quicksand the marsh of blank paper. John Updike

I woke up his morning at 3:30 with a story idea. Afraid of losing it, I immediately wrote it out long hand. The words flowed. They were coherent. The story was actually pretty good. Later, I typed it out, edited a few mistakes, and printed it out. I plan on doing revisions in a few days and submitting it. I liked the process. Several months ago, I spoke briefly with Matthew J. Bruccoli about his edit of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Last Tycoon. I told him of my budding interest in writing and asked him for advice. One of his main points of guidance was to write everything out long hand first-pen or pencil and paper. He said writing on a word processor hurt style. I was skeptical, but after this morning, I think he may be right – at least for me. I think it was Hemingway who said that he wrote everything long hand, then typed it out (or had it typed), reviewed and made changes in draft form. Do you write first long hand? What do you think about the effect of the word processor as the point...

In an attempt to understand the business side of a book deal, I will lay out the issues that seem important and my understanding of them. I know there are many variances and differences between small and large publishers but I will try to review the issues in general terms. Once the book is written the next goal is "the deal" but at what point is a deal a "good deal"? Advances. From what I understand, advances run from $0 to hundreds of thousands of dollars. With the typical first time author getting an average of between $1,000 to $7,500. J.A. Konrath signed a three book deal with Hyperion in 2003 for "low six figures" for discussion purposes only let's assume the advance was $150k or $50k per book. A good deal? Yeah, probably in the scheme of things. He recently signed another 3 book deal beyond the original. When is the adance paid? Probably a triggering event, like submission of completed manuscript for edit. Royalties. I've read that royalties...

Love. Fall in love and stay in love. Write only what you love, and love what you write. The key word is love. You have to get up in the morning and write something you love, something to live for. Ray Bradbury

Big Al's Valentine to Bugs Moran: The gift that keeps on giving... 

The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first. In my beginning is my end. T. S. Eliot

Blocked. Not the type ruffage will clear. I haven't even been able to blog, write fiction, write anything for a while now. It woke me up at 4 a.m. today - I've written 2 paragraghs of fiction in the last couple of weeks. Why? Personal shit getting me down? Maybe. Story well run dry? Don't think so. Introspection? Yep. Soul searching? Yes. Fear? Na. Loathing? Yes. Yes. Yes. Fear? Maybe. Self doubt? Getting warm. Fear? Yep, you caught me. A writer I respect wrote me a long email after I whined to her. She said write 1000 words a day, even if it sucks the big hairy green one. Today I write. . .

When I face the desolate impossibility of writing five hundred pages a sick sense of failure falls on me and I know I can never do it. This happens every time. Then gradually I write one page and then another. One day's work is all I can permit myself to contemplate and I eliminate the possibility of ever finishing. John Steinbeck Just get it down on paper, and then we'll see what to do about it. Maxwell Perkins Find a subject you care about and which you in your heart feel others should care about. It is this genuine caring, not your games with language, which will be the most compelling and seductive element in your style. Kurt Vonnegut

Writing has laws of perspective, of light and shade just as painting does, or music. If you are born knowing them, fine. If not, learn them. Then rearrange the rules to suit yourself. Truman Capote Writing stopped being fun when I discovered the difference between good writing and bad and, even more terrifying, the difference between it and true art. And after that, the whip came down. Truman Capote

I read somewhere that Hemingway, at the end of his writing day, would stop mid-sentence, or even mid-word, in his attempt to keep his writing fresh for the next day. A writer friend of mine says he does the same thing. I am intrigued. How many other writers do this? Does it help? I complete my thoughts, scenes, and words. Maybe this would help when I begin to write in the morning. Just a thought.

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. W. C. Fields

Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. Mae West

“…my tongue traced circular arcs down her tanned belly to her navel following a fine line of hair. She moaned and arched her hips to meet my lips as I …” Why is that so hard to write and so much harder to read? Sex is a major part of the human existence and actually the better part. Is it our puritan roots that cause us to cringe, recoil, or skip reading sex scenes in novels? A recent panel of well known best selling mystery authors struggled with description of how or if to write compelling sex scenes. They came to very few conclusions other than the sex or love scene must advance the plot and reveal character in one or both of the participants. Why are we as Americans so afraid of sex? I don’t get it. Sex permeates almost every aspect of our society from all forms of media. We can’t drive past a billboard, pick up a newspaper, magazine, listen to radio, watch any movie or television program without being overwhelmed by it. Ok, it’s hard for many writers to write and many readers to r...

Friendships, like marriages, are dependent on avoiding the unforgivable. John D. MacDonald

How much more can the publishing world be damaged? The Washington Post reports today that "the writer penning the novels of "JT LeRoy," a purported 25-year-old former male prostitute and drug addict, has been unmasked as a 40-year-old woman who allegedly undertook the ruse to get her work recognized." From the article posted today: "LeRoy never existed and Laura Albert authored the books, according to an attorney for her estranged partner, Geoffrey Knoop. Knoop, 39, who apologized for playing a role in the hoax, said the stress of keeping it secret had become too much to bear. The couple split in December after 16 years and were trying to work out custody of their young son. "He's wanted to come clean and let JT fade away," attorney Eric Feig said of Knoop late Monday. "He wanted to take the high road." He has also secured a movie deal to tell his side of the story, Feig said. The unveiling of LeRoy comes as the literary world is questio...

After three days of intense immersion and many drinks at the Chicago Love is Murder Mystery Conference, I have emerged, tired as hell and enlightened. I will list the Top-Ten significant ideas I took away from the conference. Summary The Love is Murder Conference was very well executed, rich with information, interactivity, and mingled the published, the unpublished, fans, reviewers, publishers, bookstore owners, magazine publishers, and librarians. I would recommend it to any one who loves mystery. Everyone was open, honest, and approachable, from the most famous to the unknown. A finer group of people, I have never met. THE TOP TEN 10.) Writing Sex Scenes are Hard I was surprised how many talented well-known writers had difficulty writing sex scenes. It was unanimous that any sex scene should advance the plot and reveal something about the characters in the scene. 9.) Need for Viral Marketing and a Platform David Morrell gave the Keynote speech on “viral marketing” and “platform”. Th...

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot. Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't. I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall. Eleanor Roosevelt

To reach a port, we must sail - sail, not tie at anchor - sail, not drift. It isn't sufficient just to want - you've got to ask yourself what you are going to do to get the things you want. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. Franklin D. Roosevelt

The Love is Murder conference is over. I had planned to write a good blog about it today, but my mind is mush - the sponge is full - as my mother would say. I just watched the Super Bowl with mild interest. I wanted to write something, but nothing is making it to the page. It seems Blogger was constipated yesterday, when I did have something to say. So tonight, I'll punt.....

Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower. Steve Jobs My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading. Steve Jobs

I asked two questions over the last few days and Mark Terry was gracious enough to answer them. My question: Mark; I don't understand the dynamics of Hardcovers for new authors - the economics don't seen right. How can the book buying public be expected to shell out $25+ for an unknown author. Does it have to do with library sales? Why not trade paperbacks. It seems like the new author at least then has a fightling chance for someone to spend $10-$15 and everyone should still be able to make some scratch this way. John D. MacDonald, an author I admire and respect, put out most of his in mass market paperback. I have read where he made more money this way. Some were eventually published in hardcover, but most came out originally in paperback. What do you think? An Excerpt of his answer : Always a worthwhile question, RJ, and I wish I understood it. I suspect it's part prestige. The rest is probably library sales, which can be considerable, in that there's about 10,000 li...

“If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it.” “I try to leave out the parts that people skip.” Elmore Leonard

Why do most large publishers bring out new authors in hardcover, instead of trade or mass market paperback? Does love really conquer all? If you were stranded on a desserted island and could have one book with you, which one would you choose?

Hell hath no fury like a hustler with a literary agent. Frank Sinatra I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. Frank Sinatra You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take. Wayne Gretzky

The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish your feelings - words shrink things that seem timeless when they are in your head to no more than living size when they are brought out. Stephen King

There's a place I go. A bar. A nice bar. A really nice bar. Money dwells there. Lots of money. Oak paneling. Jazz. Thick steaks. Rich. Fat cigars. Fatter rich men. Young attractive female bartenders hustle me, angling for big tips. I was a high roller at one time and people know it. Good looking folks hang out there. I'm there. Fifth beer there. I look around and the dish hustler winks at me - a woman of forty or fifty, seen many a rough day, not attractive at all, a little mentally handicapped would be my guess. I turn my head away, towards the twenty year old bar tender bending over getting my next beer. I look at her ass and wink at her. A few more beers go by and the owner asks the dish hustler to play a few tunes on a saxaphone. Everyone laughes and turns their eyes towards the dish hustler. She pulls a shiny golden sax out of a case. Then silence. The notes that come out of the sax are not only melodic but brillant. Beautiful, sexy, romantic, moving notes. I stop mid-sip ...

A few summers ago a personal “perfect storm” gathered. My life had slipped into utter and complete chaos. I turned forty, went through a brutal costly divorce, and contemplated a career change. Amid this confluence of personal woe, I managed to arrange my first and only true sail date. It became the best and the worst date I have ever had. My wife and I had harbored and sailed out of the Lake Michigan port town of South Haven, Michigan for several years. We loved South Haven and sailing. It is a beautiful touristy city full of shops, restaurants, bars, marinas, and boats - located on Michigan’s west coast. Unfortunately, my love of sailing outlasted the marriage. The bloodletting of divorce left me both boatless and emotionally bereft. Anyone who has passed the event of turning forty knows it can be a life-changing occurrence. For those who haven’t yet reached this pivotal point, trust me-- your time will come. My receding hairline relocated itself to my back and in my ears. Younger wo...

If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot paint," then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced. Vincent Van Gogh When I am, as it were, completely myself, entirely alone, and of good cheer - say traveling in a carriage, or walking after a good meal, or during the night when I cannot sleep - it is on such occasions that my ideas flow best, and most abundantly. Whence and how they come, I know not, nor can I force them. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past. F. Scott Fitzgerald An artist is a creature driven by demons. He doesn't know why they choose him and he's usually too busy to wonder why. William Faulkner